the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just cut my nipple shaving
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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