Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
