I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
