Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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