I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
