That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fuck appropriateness.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
