Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
