My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
