i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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