And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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