it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
accomplished twins. life is a go
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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