It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
