Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
