I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
