He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
