Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
