i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
