we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She even gives head with a lisp.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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