...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
