I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sext me about skeletons
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
