You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone signed my nipple.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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