Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
