You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
