Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
