I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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