They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
