well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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