your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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