If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
