Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
