fuck your aforementioned shoe
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
