I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
