I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
