She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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