Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
