ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
