Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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