Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
