what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
