her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
