it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
