Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
