I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
