After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
