Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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