You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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