This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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