pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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