I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
