New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
