Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
