Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
