i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She needs sedatives and a leash
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i think my cat just said my name.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sobbing to NWA
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
