I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
