She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
