He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
