Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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