Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
