I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
