There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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