the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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